


Seasons: Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter, The

by thebasement_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-12-31
Updated: 1999-12-31
Packaged: 2018-11-20 11:31:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11334828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebasement_archivist/pseuds/thebasement_archivist
Summary: Mulder/Krycek relationship told through Krycek's POV. If it seems familiar forgive me, I've been reading too much slash.





	Seasons: Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter, The

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Basement](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Basement), which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Basement's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thebasement/profile).

 

The Seasons: Spring by M. Kavanagh

The Seasons: Spring (1 of 4)  
  
Author: M. Kavanagh  
Warning: if slash ( M/M) sex bothers you, then run away, because I will take no responsibility for the destruction of the young and innocent.  
Archive: Basement  
Rating: R (nothing really explicit)  
Spoilers: No, in fact some it is AU  
Summary: Muldar/Krycek relationship told through Krycek's POV. If it seems familiar forgive me, I've been reading too much slash.  
Betaed by: my Mom  
Disclaimer: All X-Files characters belong to Chris Carter, 1013 Productions and Twenth Century Fox. I know this and they know this. I will also not make a penny from the writing of this story. So suing me is a huge waste of time. Plus I have no money.  
Feedback: Always, at , BTW any flames sent to me will be used for the expressed purpose of making S'mores!  


* * *

The Seasons: Spring  


So I'm sitting here in the car, in what is turning out to be a very long and boring stake out. Well, no that's not entirely true. I would be bored if my partner wasn't sitting here in the drivers seat...dead asleep. Did I mention that my partner is one Fox W. Mulder? And that I am in awe of him? That's right it's him, the ex-boy wonder of the FBI's VCU. And yes, he really is that brilliant in person. But he's more than that, he's beautiful. He's all golden with full sensuous lips and eyes that change colors with his emotions. A face that Boccelli would cry to see.

And I can't take my eyes off him, so it's probably a good thing that he's asleep. Because I would never be able to explain the way I'm looking at him. Oh yes, he's beautiful, but he's more than beautiful. he's true and honest, kind and good. No, he's really very good and he cares about everything. maybe he cares too much, he's just so passionate. He's everything I'm not and I want him but I can't have him.

He thinks he knows me, the great profiler, he thinks I'm a naive fresh face kid. A puppy, all eager to please with shining adoration in my eyes. But nothing could be further from the truth. And I haven't been that innocent in years. You see this is all a masquerade, a way of disarming him. It's their way to keep tabs on him, to spy on him and if possible gain control of him. Did I tell you that my partner can be dangerous? He's like a loose cannon, you'll never know which way he'll shoot. God, I really love that about him, he's totally unpredictable. And I want him, but I can't have him because of all the thing I'm pretending to be as Agent Krycek, innocent is one and straight is the other.

Sigh, but what really bothers me is that one day I'll have to betray him, it's in the nature of the game. It's because his goals and their goals aren't always the same. I work for them for the most part. And for now they want me to keep him safe. So I keep him safe, but I know in my bones one day they'll ask me to hurt him. They'll ask me to stick the knife in his back and twist until he screams. And I don't want to think about it anymore, I want to forget. I just want to sit here and watch his chest rise and fall with each breath. And wish I was the fresh faced kid of his dreams. God, he's beautiful and I want him and I never want this to end.

But Mulder stirs and wakes up, while I turn and pretend to be looking out the window. My stomach betrays me however and it growls. I mean it really growls, very loud. And I hear him say "All right, get out!" What? I turn back to look at him, " Get out and feed that monster of yours!" Oh, he wants me to get something to eat. I feel my self blush as I climb out of the car and head to the Donut shop across the street, wondering vaguely if they sell sunflower seeds?

 

* * *

 

The Seasons: Summer (2 of 4)

Author: M. Kavanagh  
Archive: Basement  
Betaed by: My Mom  
Ratings: R (lots of talking, not explicit)  
Warning: If the idea of M/m relations make you sick, then stop reading and run away from here, and no will get hurt, because I take no responsibility for the warping of innocent minds.  
Summary: Muldar/Krycek relationship told through Krycek's POV. If it seems familiar, forgive me, I have been reading way too much slash!  
Disclaimer: All X-Files characters belong to Chris Carter, 1013 Productions and Twenty Century Fox. They know this, and I know this. I will not make a penny from the writing of this story. So suing me is a huge waste of time. Plus I have no money.  
Feedback: Always, for I am greedy. At , And flames sent my way will be used for the expressed purpose of making S'mores.  


* * *

The Seasons: Summer (2 of 4)

Did you ever hear the saying, Be careful what you wish for you might just get it? And did you ever wonder, just what the hell does that really mean?

Well, my grandmother used to say that to me often, "Be careful Sasha!" And I would shake my head at her thinking that she was a silly woman, that is until this past weekend.

They gave me some stuff for Muldar, stuff that needed a personal touch, in other words hand delivered. So I broke into his apartment and waited for him. I prepared myself for the usual assault and battery. But this time something was different, he was subdued, less angry but still sarcastic.

After the customary accusations, I showed him the package and was planning on leaving. And that's when it happened, he growled at me "You're going nowhere, Ratboy!" And he grabbed my arm and handcuffed me.

I tried to reason with him, "You know that if you arrest me, I'm dead. Cut flowers will last longer than I do. C'mon Muldar, let me go!" But he just stared at me for a long moment, then slapped the other cuff on his own arm. I couldn't believe it! I was handcuffed to Muldar! " Muldar, give me the key!" I demanded. But he only gave me a vague smile and proceeded to drop the key down the heating vent. I just stared at him while listening to the key clank down the duct. All I could think was he has finally lost his mind. And this time he's really going to hurt me. But instead he reached for the phone and looking at me asked, " I haven't had dinner, and I know that you can always eat. Is pizza okay with you, Krycek?" And that's how the rest of the night went with Muldar playing the gracious host.

I woke up in bed next to Muldar, which is funny because the last thing I remember is being forced to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" while drinking a six pack. I remember thinking that Muldar was planning to put me into a diabetic coma. But what had wakened me? Then I heard the moan, the man next to me was in the grips of a nightmare. Ah, damn Muldar, why do you let them hurt you like this? I tried to wake him, tried to comfort him but with one arm cuffed and the other arm... Well, you know about that. In the end I kissed his forehead and spoke sweet nothings into his ear. Needless to say I didn't sleep well for the rest of the night, guilt will do that to you.

Next morning I awoke to find Muldar lying on his side smiling down at me, saying something about how pretty I looked in the morning. I said something about how pretty the two of would look to Scully. And his smile grew larger, it seems that Scully has family obligations, so for this weekend it's just the two of us. So on Saturday I found out things about Muldar, like how long it takes to brush his teeth. Or that he has 7 bottles of shampoo for his baby fine hair. I also found out things I didn't want to know, like how much my betrayal hurt him. And here's the shocker, how my abandonment hurt even more. Which is why he cuffed me this time, because as he puts it, "You're always dropping a bomb, then leaving me to deal with it, by myself. This time you're staying for the fall out!"

God, I really didn't want to know this. And seeing myself through Muldar's eyes only made things worse. Muldar sees me as some kind of vampire. I come and drain him of blood, then leave. The thing is ... dammit Muldar, why would you want the vampire to stick around. He'll only drain you of more blood. And that night the terrors were even worse. I've never seen him like this, screaming in blood curdling terror Scully's name over and over. I tried my best to calm him down, maybe I over did it. Because he woke up while I was nuzzling his neck and calling him baby. I know he was awake because he flipped me on my back and kissed me within in an inch of my life. He only stopped when he realized I was suffocating. And while I was trying to collect my wits, he made love to me.

So my wish has become a nightmare, um did I mention that I used to wish to be handcuffed to Muldar, with him having his way with me? Well, only Muldar could screw up that happy little fantasy. My wish was for sweet simple sex, so naturally Muldar makes love to me. He not only touches my body, he touches my heart, he makes me feel. He makes me feel beautiful, me beautiful! And worse yet, he anchors my soul. For the longest of times the soul of Alex Krycek had nothing to do with me. That night he reconnected us, my soul to my body and God, did I hurt ... the bastard! What does a monster like me need with a soul? Then he uncuffs me, turns out the asshole had a spare key in his nightstand. He pulls me into his arms and holding me falls asleep. I had to get out of there before he hurt me again. It took awhile but I finally slipped a pillow into his arms, and stepping out of bed dressed as fast as I could. I really thought he was asleep, when I heard a voice mumble, "See you next month...Lexi."

Well, he can forget about that, I'm not going back and if those good old boys want to send him another package, they can do it themselves. I'm not going back to Muldar's...really I'm not! Anyway that's how I learned that my grandmother was right. Be careful what you wish for because it never turns out right and in the end you'll get hurt.  
  


 

* * *

 

The Seasons: Autumn (3 of 4)  
Author: M. Kavanagh  
Betaed by: My Mom  
Archive: Basement  
Warning: this is a slash story, if the idea of m/m relationships makes you ill or you are too young to be reading this, then all I have to say is run away from here. Because I take no responsibility for the warping of the innocent or insulting of adults.  
Summary: Muldar/Krycek's relationship told through Krycek's POV.  
Rating: R ( all talk and some angst, nothing graphic)  
Spoilers: Nope, this is where the story line goes AU.  
Disclaimers: All X-Files Characters belong to Chris Carter and 1013 productions and Twentieth Century Fox. They know this and I know this. I will not be making a penny on the writing of this story. So suing me is a huge waste of time! Plus I have no money.  
Feedback: Always, for I am greedy! At   


* * *

The Seasons: Autumn

How do I tell him? How do I look into his hazel eyes and tell him? I can barely understand it myself. So how do I tell him? But I have to tell him! He has to know what danger I've put his life in! He needs to know I'm positive! He needs to know that the danger is so close, as close as his own heart, as intimate as his own blood. It's because of me, because of the times we weren't careful. When we let passion take over and cloud out minds.

Passion clouded our minds, passion clouded Muldar's mind. It must have for him to take me as his lover. What was Muldar thinking taking an assassin into his arms? Why would he want me, why does he want me? He's all golden, bright and beautiful. And me? I'm little better than a thug.

I didn't used to be a thug. I didn't think I was a thug when I first joined the Consortium. I thought I was a patriot, a hero in the making. After all if survival is the ultimate ideology then it doesn't matter what sacrifices had to be made. Or who had to make them, just as long as the human race survived. For a long time I believed that.

Then they killed Jeff, and it was all over. I knew the truth. A father kills his own son because it is expedient and I knew the truth about myself. After all if a man is judged by the company he keeps how could I be little better than a thug.

But he redeemed me, with his beauty, his bravery, his honesty and compassion. Maybe his compassion had rubbed off on me, because I was feeling altruistic when I gave that pint of blood. And that's how they found out, they check for those things. And they called me down for counseling. I couldn't figure out what they were saying. They kept acting like my puppy had rabies and they wanted to put it asleep. And then it hit me, I was the puppy they wanted to put to sleep!

Funny thing is I don't know how I got it, or where it came from? But what really gets me is that it a human virus that's going to kill me! Not the aliens and their virus, not the Consortium and their thugs and not the FBI/CIA/KGB. No just a stoppable all too terrestrial plague. How mundane!

So how do I tell my hazel eyed prince that once again, I'm a threat to his life? I want to run away from here, away from him and take the threat with me. But it is too late and the damage may all ready done. And he needs to know, but I can't tell him. I can't even bring myself to knock on his door. So instead I stand here like an idiot, begging him to open the door so I won't have to knock.

And then I don't have to because as if by magic the doors opens, he's there looking at me, his eyes all bright and shiny. And he speaks my name, Alex. And he knows, he knows because they called to make an appointment for me. And his was the number I gave when I first gave the blood. So he knows, they didn't tell him why, but he figured it out anyway. Did I mentioned my Baby's smart?

He pulls me out of the hallway into his arms. And he whispers into my ears of his love for me, of how this changes nothing between us. But he's wrong, it has changed us, it has changed me. A stone cold fear touches my heart even as his warm arms wrap around me. This is the first time I've feared for myself, feared my own death. It's because of him... I want to live.  


 

* * *

 

The Seasons: Winter (4 of 4)  
Author: M. Kavanagh  
Archive: Basement  
Betaed by : My Mom  
Spoilers: No by now the story is AU.  
Ratings: R ( mostly talk plenty of angst)  
Warning: If the idea of a m/m relationship makes you ill or you are too young to be reading any of this stuff, then I say to you Run away! And no will get hurt, because I will take no responsibility for the ruining of the innocent or the insulting of an adult.  
Summary: Muldar/Krycek's relationship told through Krycek's POV.  
Disclaimer: All X-File characters belong to Chris Carter, 1013 Productions and Twentieth Century Fox. They know this and I know this. I will not make a dime from the writing of this story. So suing me is a huge waste of time. Plus I have no money.  
Feedback: Always, for I am greedy at   


* * *

The Season: Winter (4 of 4)

So I'm standing here, alone and I'm saying the same words over and over again, to myself. But I don't understand them, I can't wrap my mind around them, it is as if they are of a foreign language. And I keep repeating the same sentence phonetically over and over, hoping that it's meaning will finally sink in...He's dead.

Do you see what I mean? He's dead? How can he be dead? I don't understand it. I'm the one with the incurable disease, the illness that will bring my death. Yet I stand here in this graveyard very much alive, while they bury him. I don't understand it, this isn't right. This is not the way it's supposed to go. The world needs him, needs his selflessness, needs his heroics, needs his generosity, his goodness. Nobody needs me, I'm just a reformed thug. And as I understand it, thugs go for a dime a dozen.

Nobody needs me, but I still need him, still want him. And he's dead. So I stand here, hiding behind this marble Angel while they bury him. I look up at the Angel and wonder, Are you the Arc-angel Michael? You know God's right hand man, patron saint of cops and law enforcement everywhere? Because if you are I have a bone to pick with you, you bastard!

You screwed up with Muldar, where the hell were you when he needed you?!? To let him die like that, to be killed by a teenager strung out on drugs in front of an ATM? Did he really deserve to die like that? With Scully waiting outside in the car? But my words are hollow, bouncing off the marble, back at me. Where the hell was I when he needed me? How could I let him die like that? It was the one thing, the only thing he needed from me, was to keep him safe. Even from the beginning, when they first made me his partner, they let me know clearly that my job was to keep Muldar safe. So now I've failed him, I've failed us...He's dead.

So I'm standing here, alone in the graveyard, watching them bury him and fingering a VHS tape in my pocket. A gift for Scully, for it seems that she forgot that ATM's have video cameras. And we wouldn't want anyone to see her shoot that strung out kid in cold blood, would we? Frankly I'm proud of her, it was the only option left to her and she took it. She killed the bastard and cradled Muldar in her arms as he died. It should have been me there holding Muldar, telling him over and over again how much I loved him. But it wasn't, I wasn't there and He's dead.

I almost wish Scully would shoot me, shoot me here in the graveyard. I don't care anymore. I'm cold, alone and hungry. And yeah, I've been there before, but this time I know what hope feels like...it feels like Muldar...And He's dead.

 


End file.
